Relationships, be it romantic or platonic, require effort. From building trust to open communication and shared experiences, there are a lot of factors that go into maintaining a strong relationship. In romantic relationships, especially making efforts is non-negotiable. Researchers have long studied what makes human connections thrive. A new study has found that an underrated habit could be the biggest player in a healthy relationship between couples. And the habit in question is gossip. The findings of the study is published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
The role of gossip in a relationship
Forget roses and chocolates. In order to strengthen your relationship with your partner, consider gossiping. The new study from UC Riverside psychology researchers found that gossip within couples is associated with greater happiness and better relationships!In the paper, ‘Spill the Tea, Honey: Gossiping Predicts Well-Being in Same- and Different-Gender Couples,’ the researchers explore how gossiping among romantic partners creates emotional bonding.“Whether or not we want to admit it, everyone gossips. Gossip is ubiquitous,” Chandler Spahr, first author of the study, said. This is the first to examine the dynamics of gossip and well-being within romantic partnerships. The study confirms that gossip is more than idle chatter. Gossiping between couples is strongly and reliably related to happiness. Gossip is also related, albeit to a lesser extent, to relationship quality, the study found.
The study
To understand how gossip works in favor between romantic partners, the researchers conducted a study in which 76 same-gender and different-gender romantic couples from Southern California participated. Using an Electronically Activated Recorder (EAR), a portable listening device, they sampled what the participants said throughout the day. The researchers recorded about 14% of their daily conversations and analysed them. The EAR technology found that the participants spent about 38 minutes per day gossiping, with about 29 of those minutes gossiping with their romantic partners. Interestingly, woman-woman couples gossiped the most. The couples reported high levels of happiness, but the same-sex couples experienced higher levels of happiness than different-sex couples. The woman-woman couples reported the highest level of relationship quality.From this study, the researchers found that gossiping among romantic partners may serve as a form of emotional bonding.
How gossip helps
Imagine you are driving home from a party.“What do you do in the car? You talk about everybody at the party. Who said what; what’s going on with their relationship?” Megan Robbins, a UCR psychology professor and the paper’s senior author, said. You would ideally talk about the one who looked great. For instance, ‘Didn’t Veronica look great? Didn’t Joe look awful? Did you sense tension between them?”“Negatively gossiping with one’s romantic partner on the way home from a party could signal that the couple’s bond is stronger than with their friends at the party, while positively gossiping could prolong the fun experiences. It may reinforce the perception that partners are ‘on the same team,’ enhancing feelings of connectedness, trust, and other positive relationship qualities, as well as contributing to overall well-being,” the study authors wrote.The researchers added that ossip may function as a ‘social regulation tool’. It will help to establish expectations and behaviors that contribute to a harmonious relationship.
This study is a follow-up to a study Robbins published in 2019 that dispelled some long-held gossip myths. The previous study, which also used EAR technology, found that women do not engage in ‘tear-down’ gossip more than men, and lower-income people don’t gossip more than wealthy people. It also found that younger people engage in more negative gossip than older adults.According to the researchers, gossip does not necessarily have to be negative. If you are talking about someone who isn’t physically present, it’s considered gossip. Gossip may be positive, neutral, or negative.
